it never rained

you know that carnival ride, the wheel where you stand inside against the wall and then it starts spinning, the rotation pinning you to the side screams of excitement at first but it keeps spinning and its harder to breath and it keeps spinning and then you can’t scream anymore

anyway,

i like to lay in the grass looking straight up so i can see the sky curve around me, imagining that it’s only the spinning that keeps me pinned to the ground, and if some teen at the operator panel stopped the ride things could slow down and i would simply step out into the sky

but,

maybe instead of the sky i’ll simply melt down into the earth embracing her, slowly separating and turning into nothing; either way i can’t scream anymore.

i look up at the clouds and watch them separate and turn into nothing, they seem to have the hang of it